Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Naomi writes.... your bedroom from the point of view of a stranger forced to occupy it

Here she comes. Is this her? Yeah. It's her. I've seen her already in the photos  - smiling in New Zealand with a boyfriend, smiling in the USA with her best friends, smiling at a wedding in Sydney with the bride and groom. She's not smiling now. She looks tired. She dumps her stuff on the bed. The bed isn't made. This makes her sad. She makes the bed. She looks around. What is she looking for? Has she lost something? Is there something missing? There's nothing on the floor, nothing that seems to be out of place. In fact, this room looks perfect. Not a thing is out of place. OH! I get it. She's looking for mess to clean. For a problem. For something to do.  I can tell she loves cleaning mess more than anything else in the world because even though she looks tired, it's the first thing she's done since she's walked in the door. Is she going to shower? Change? Listen to music? Have wine? No. She's looking at her phone... what is she looking at? It's a list. A to do list. She's reading things on a list. I see the list. It's not very exciting. It says things like 'insurance' and 'pay power bill'. This is odd. Before she came home, I saw all sorts of stuff in her journal about being mindful. About surrendering to the moment. She doesn't seem very mindful. She seems more preoccupied with her list. Maybe the journal is her boyfriend's? Maybe it's not hers? The boyfriend walks in. She is cross at him. He left shoes on the floor. She hates that. He leaves. She scribbles in her journal. Something about taking time to relax. To do yoga. To meditate. To kiss her boyfriend. To take a breath. She sighs. She is looking at the yoga mat. I can tell she feels bad for not doing yoga more often because she is poking the yoga mat with her toe whilst looking at her list. She pulls out the yoga mat. She starts doing yoga. She moves from bow post into downward dog. She gets distracted. She has noticed something about her body she doesn't like. She pokes her tummy. She then opens a drawer. She is looking for something. The power bill! She looks cross. She goes back to yoga. She's trying to do dancer's pose. She falls over. She lands on the floor. She sees dust under the bed. She goes to clean it. She goes back to yoga. It's better this time. She lasts for maybe 2 minutes. She looks at a message on her phone. She laughs. Finally, she goes back to yoga. She sees it through this time. She looks happier now. She looks more relaxed. She finishes her yoga. The boyfriend walks in. She smiles. She kisses him. He makes her happy, I can tell. She kisses him again. She says something silly. He smiles. She smiles.  Why doesn't she just talk to him when she gets home instead of fussing and cleaning? They go to bed. She reads her book, he looks at his phone. They sleep. She wakes. She's thinking about something. She's tossing and turning. Something is bothering her. I wish I knew what. She sleeps again. She wakes. She is agitated. It's morning. She dresses for the gym but before she leaves at 6:30 I see her on her phone. She's looking at Facebook. She's checking her bank account. She's playing games. She's adding things to her list. I wonder how a person can do this before 6:30. She goes. She comes back. She's stressed. She has a list. She tells her boyfriend about the list. He tells her he can help. She is upset about his pants. I don't know what is wrong with his pants. They leave for the day.

She comes home. The same routine.

On the 7th day, she comes home. She looks tired. She looks at her phone. She's looking at the list again. She looks like she is about to cry. She deletes the list. She looks lighter. The boyfriend walks in. She kisses him. She is happy. I wonder why she didn't delete the list a week ago.

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